Never Going to See My Cat Again
Getting a new cat can sometimes feel wrong later losing another. Is it possible to work through the grief and larn to love again?
Equally cat owners, words cannot describe how pitiful it is when a beloved cat passes abroad. Although grief is a completely natural reaction to loss, sometimes the pain tin can brand us fearful of e'er loving a cat once again. The heartache tin seem so overwhelming and the devotion to our true cat'southward retention so strong, that people are sometimes faced with feelings of fear or disloyalty if they consider getting a new true cat.
In lodge to empathise where these conflicting feelings may be coming from, it is important to have how intense grief can exist. When a cat passes away, owners tin go through the same grieving procedure every bit they would for whatsoever other family member. Only pet-related grief is still not widely recognised in society, and nosotros are often expected to 'just get on with it'.
Sadder all the same, owners are sometimes faced with having to make a decision about when it is best to let their cats go, and that in itself tin can feel an unfair responsibility. Similarly, death can occur of a sudden as a result of tragic circumstances. Is it therefore whatever wonder that we may have problem processing our bereavement?
How can I deal with the grief of losing my true cat?
Cathy Payne, from Devon, lost her 6-year-old tortie, Rosie, in a route accident. "I remember the last time I saw her," explains Cathy. "I was playing with my son when she trotted by and miaowed to become out. I opened the window as I had many times before; she saturday there for a moment looking back at u.s.a., and then hopped off as usual to have an take chances.
"The adjacent morning, the telephone rang and I could hear my hubby asking 'Is she dead?' My claret ran cold as I rushed downstairs. He said simply, 'Information technology'due south Rosie, she's been striking past a auto'. The post-obit days were devastating. Non only did I have to carry on with work, but I had to explain to my three-year-sometime daughter why Mummy and Daddy were crying, and why Rosie wasn't coming home for her breakfast."
A logical reaction to such pain is to avert any caused this hurt in the offset place, and sadly for Cathy, and for many other cat lovers, the idea of going through the grief once again is just too much, even if years of dearest came before.
Three years after losing Rosie, Cathy said: "Three years on, and we are notwithstanding distressing about losing Rosie in such a devastating way, and we will never get another cat. If the same thing happened again, I wouldn't forgive myself."
Interestingly, Cathy so went on to have ii Labradors. "I don't worry about the dogs as they are walked on the atomic number 82, but I dread the twenty-four hour period they will naturally die. Losing Rosie has reminded united states to treasure every twenty-four hours with them."
But what if we desperately miss having a cat in our lives, yet experience as if we are disloyal if we look for another one?
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Don't feel guilty if y'all do go some other cat
Daniel Bribe, from London, recalls this dilemma when he and his girlfriend of a sudden lost their eight-year-one-time cat, Ragamuffin, to cancer.
"Ragamuffin'southward death shocked u.s.a. and nosotros were left completely heartbroken," Daniel explains. "Our domicile felt empty without a cat, but, whenever we considered getting a new cat, we felt as if we were replacing her.
"We eventually went to our local rehoming shelter and asked to see the cat who had been there the longest. By bringing home a really deserving cat, nosotros somehow felt that we could justify the determination. We came home with Toby, a blackness and white moggy, who had been waiting for a home for over a year."
Of form, this suggests that information technology is not simply u.s.a. who may miss out on true cat ownership as a result of grief, simply also cats themselves. Celia Hammond, founder of the Celia Hammond Animal Trust which rescues and rehomes thousands of cats every year, believes that pet bereavement can negatively affect the rate of rehoming.
"We feel grief-associated guilt from prospective owners all the time. Someone may come up in with good intentions of homing a true cat, merely it can chop-chop become too much and they'll cease upwards in tears over how they can't take some other one," explains Celia. "We could fill our shelters six times over with rescued cats. We're and so overcrowded; nosotros but cannot keep up with the tedious rate of rehoming."
Perhaps our focus, therefore, should be on using our ingrained love for cats for further proficient, and view owning a new cat as an opportunity to provide a loving habitation. Celia agrees, and explains how guilt, although natural, is not necessary: "Never feel guilty. I always say that owning again is the biggest compliment that you could ever pay your cat."
Choosing another cat
Yet, what sort of true cat should nosotros bring habitation? Should nosotros attempt to observe one that reminds u.s. of our erstwhile friend?
"Go for i completely different," Celia recommends. "Otherwise, the similarity will never match up."
Daniel also agreed with this sentiment: "I'd be lying if I said that it didn't feel strange when we first brought Toby habitation. He'due south so different to Ragamuffin that he almost seemed like an intruder! But, ii months on, we now utterly love Toby for the individual cat that he is."
So how has Daniel learnt to dearest a new cat and preserve Ragamuffin'south memory? "Toby has become so warm and affectionate, and information technology may sound silly, but he merely seems really grateful to take a home! I think that Ragamuffin would corroborate."
Words by Claire Newton-Ransom.
Is your cat also grieving?
Does your true cat seem downwardly afterward the expiry of another pet? He could also exist grieving their loss.
It is frequently mistakenly assumed that because of cats' more independent personalities and solitary nature they practise not experience grief following the loss of other cats in the household. Suddenly becoming the only cat will involve an adjustment process for your cat. The grief procedure is exactly this - an adjustment to loss. Your true cat may be still be searching for his feline friend and need more fourth dimension to accommodate to him not being around.
Firstly, seeking veterinary advice is important to make certain that there is no underlying physiological reason for whatsoever change in your cat's personality. It may be helpful to minimise change in your cat'south environment every bit much every bit possible for the short-term to reduce stress and anxiety.
If your cat's appetite has lessened, try warming his nutrient or adding some not-salty gravy, although it'southward wise to avoid radical changes in diet. Encourage play every bit much every bit possible, and try to spend more than time training and stroking him.
Getting another feline companion straight away isn't brash, as your cat is in a transitional land of flux and needs, for now, needs to accept some sense of continuity. However, with the passage of time you and he may be set up to integrate a new feline family unit member.
Communication given past pet bereavement counsellor Sue Dawson.
Source: https://www.yourcat.co.uk/cat-advice/is-it-possible-to-love-a-cat-again-after-losing-one/
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